Hadley Wood
Smugly luxurious residential satellite
Considering it's on one of the busiest routes in the UK – between London and Scotland – this station gets very little use. It's in a short space between yawning long tunnels under two nature reserves. It could be almost peaceful if it weren't for the GNER trains screaming past every so often.
Hadley Wood is shaped like a toenail clipping; a straight road with a crescent on the top. The peeling, deserted station, covered in broken glass and dust, is the only dilapidated thing in Hadley Wood. Everything else is immaculate. next to a parade of shops that include a busy late-night hairdresser, a busy soft furnishings store and even a busy estate agents'. Adverts for au pairs, farm property and French tuition dot the window of the newsagents.
As the crescent curves round, you see what can best be described as multi-storey cottages and uphill driveways. This is not a poor area, although the only sign of independent thought is a parking space in a layby for a mobile library. (Although somebody has written 'OR NOT' below the sign 'Please call xxx if a vehicle strikes this bridge').
Near the layby, you can duck down a sidepath with two grooves, towards the ground of Hadley Wood FC. No Highbury is this; it's a lumpy field with no goalposts and a trailer and a skip. Nettles line the path; they were probably planted to stop people getting out of their cars and blocking the road.
Things forbidden on the field according to The Hadley Wood Association & The 1968 Byelaws
- Cars, bicycles or horses
- Damage to plants or trees
- Offensive behaviour
- Power driven motor aircraft
Along the straight part of the toenail, you can find long stretches of gated houses. Fake Greek pillars seem quite popular here, along with as many cars per household as there are bedrooms. Considering how very close people are to the railway station, the usefulness of having at least twenty-four wheels per house is somewhat dubious.
Residents of Zone 6, #25 – Hadley Wood
 | Just wigging out on his doorstep while listening to J-Lo on the stereo of his Jaguar. |
For a community that supposedly lives in a nature reserve, there seems to be a bit of a cavalier attitude towards all things bright and beautiful here. The whole neighbourhood has been scrubbed clear of urban scavengers; pigeons and foxes are no doubt shot on sight. Every five metres on the grass verge there is a big pile of boulders. And something odd seems to have been happening to the trees here.
Trees in Hadley Wood; before and after
It's quiet, and insular here, and the only vibes you can feel are if you are standing directly above the railway line when a train goes past in the tunnel 100ft below. For community, there is a small church on a slope near the other end of the crescent. It has a notice board that says "What is Church?" and the name of the minister taped out.
On the window of the adjacent nursery, Winnie the Pooh has had a large part of his body bitten away and Piglet is lying back in a state of post-coital bliss. As for a pub, well, you can find one in the tennis club. And a notice board advertises the local Scrabble club.
That's it; there's nothing else to see, apart from some forest walks if you go right up over the hill. Really, Hadley Wood need not expect to win any awards for Capital of Culture.
Statistics
Time to Zone 1 35mins on WAGN (Old Street)
Last trains to Zone 1 Mon-Sun 2315
What to do if you get stuck in Hadley Wood after the last train to Zone 1
It's almost a badge of honour that buses come nowhere near Hadley Wood, though you could try following the bus signs from the station entrance into the middle of nowhere. If it's very late, your best bet is probably to grab a black cab returning any local residents from the centre of London after their big night out. Mind the seat for that extra-special mixture of vomit and champagne.
